Because God has a weird sense of humor
Sometime last December, I had a pseudo-meltdown. And although I knew it was a well-deserved (?)meltdown (after months of gnashing my teeth and biting my tongue, I knew I had to eventually let off some steam, especially since it was already affecting my relationships with the people I love most), still I wasn't proud of it. It may only be half-a-meltdown, or perhaps a kinda-meltdown, but it was a meltdown nonetheless. And a meltdown is a meltdown, and I wasn't proud of myself.
And so I made a promise that no matter what happens, I shall have a better hold on my emotions. That regardless of what life throws at me (which, at that time, I thought, would all be work-related), I shall be the epitome of grace under pressure - a smile for each stressful situation, laughing instead of languishing, a positive force amidst all the negativity.
And because God has a weird sense of humor, He went - "Talaga lang ha? Promise? Sige nga, tingnan natin." And proceeded to give me something that made me feel like pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa.
Mommy has cancer.
And for more than a week now since we heard the confirmation from her doctors, like a horrible LSS, those three words have been in constant replay in my mind. I could hear it over the shower while taking a bath, amidst the office noice in the middle of a workday, at night in the silence of our room. Mommy has cancer.
The prognosis is good actually. The doctors said it's 80% curable. Six sessions of chemotherapy over a period of three months should do the job. And of course, a complete lifestyle change. She underwent laparoscopic assisted colectomy (which doesn't come cheap) three weeks ago to remove the tumor, and with the aid of good doctors and the best health care that The Medical City can provide, everything should turn out fine. That's what we are all holding on to - the hope that everything will turn out fine.
And that God's sense of humor should stop at weird, and not turn morbid.