22 January 2013

my life's current background music

Gotta get off, gonna get
Have to get off from this ride
Gotta get hold, gonna get
Need to get hold of my pride

When did I get, where did I
How was I caught in this game
When will I know, where will I
How will I think of my name

When did I stop feeling sure, feeling safe
And start wondering why, wondering why
Is this a dream, am I here, where are you
What's in back of the sky, why do we cry

Gotta get off, gonna get
Out of this merry-go-round
Gotta get off, gonna get
Need to get on where I'm bound

When did I get, where did I
Why am I lost as a lamb
When will I know, where will I
How will I learn who I am

Is this a dream, am I here, where are you
Tell me, when will I know, how will I know
When will I know why?

21 January 2013

rough sketch

Sometimes I can't help but wonder whatever happened to that girl who was hell-bent on 'pursuing her artistic pursuits.' The girl who had a hard time taking off her bohemian skirt and putting on a corporate suit. The girl who happily spent hours with her pencils and sketch books.

Although at times I think I know what happened to that girl. At some point, she realized that she had no choice but to be a woman. An adult. A mother. A partner. Hours were spent in those corporate suits, and whatever free time she had were spent on housework. Time spent with her pencils and sketch books were filled with guilt pangs - she should be working! - until she had given them up altogether. The pencils and the sketchbooks. Not the work. Because she was a woman with responsibilities.

And it was then that she started feeling miserable, reassessing her life, wondering where all the passion went. She felt empty. True, she was promoted at work, she made some minor improvement to her home, but the emptiness persisted. Until one day, she realized, she didn't care anymore. She worked because she had to. The corporate work must not suffer, but her resentment grew. The house felt neglected.

More than a year passed. But a couple of weeks ago, she unearthed her set of pencils, opened a new notebook, and started drawing.

It's time to reclaim that girl.

19 January 2013

Why is it so hard to talk about the things that matter most?

  • It's so much easier to talk about inane, inconsequential, irrelevant stuff
  • People would rather relate with the ridiculous
  • No one likes drama - and the things that matter most are often considered sentimental, hence the drama
  • Doing so may require that you examine your life, which could be painful
  • It may also involve facing your fears, which is hard.

Favorite memory