Anger is fear's bodyguard.

I'm on a Celeste Ng roll. After reading Everything I Never Told You a few months ago, I got a copy of Little Fires Everywhere which I finished reading last week, and currently, I'm on page 205 of Our Missing Hearts. Her books give you all the feels, and then make you think. Didn't  we, at one point or another, faced with similar dilemmas, battle with the same moral grayness --- and we did not exactly come out victorious? We did what we believed was right, blinded by our own self-righteousness, only to realize, in retrospect, that we could have done better. Or not.

Earlier today, I came across a reel (yes, Instagram is my rabbit hole) that briefly talks about the anger iceberg, reminding me about Ng's quote: Anger is fear's bodyguard. Anger protects fear. And pain. And anxiety. And confusion. And all the negative feelings that we try to suppress because we don't really know how to express them. Frustrated at ourselves, equating vulnerability with weakness, we lash out in anger.

I'm not too sure if it comes with age but it's been a while since I got really angry at anyone or anything. Upset, yes. Disappointed too. But nothing as strong as anger. I have finally learned how to choose my battles, opting to walk away instead of engaging. Mostly for my own peace of mind.

My anger is expensive --- it goes only to those who are worth it.